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Monday, January 10, 2011

I was So Worried That I Wouldn't Be Able To Use my New Computer Keyboard Outside During a Sandstorm But my Concern was Totally Unfounded

Flashback humorous review of a computer keyboard from (not the maker, I never did find a name brand on the product).

April 20, 2007.

I bought a keyboard from recently and it just arrived today. It's called the (no name brand) Flexible Keyboard. It came rolled up into a can-shaped plastic container, to show off it's roll-up-ability. I opened it up and was blown away (almost literally) by the funky smell coming out of the container. It was plastic-y mixed with a chemical scent.

It is a translucent white that glows in the dark. I think I will call it "Glo worm". The keys feel really cool though based on ratings that I read AFTER I bought it, it isn't very popular among users. Most complain about a different key setup for certain keys but I don't know about that yet.

Ooooh...I just got to the good part. The stuff about sandstorms and sharp objects. When I buy something the first thing I do is usually look for the paper inserts that explain the product and share warnings, instructions and other great information. So I pulled that out after pushing the buttons a few times (the buttons are so squishy and fun to bubble wrap) and opened up to the warnings. The "don't"s are available in picture and word formats. And they all have the circle with the big slash over them. The obvious- don't use sharp objects around it. Now, read this CAREFULLY. Any spelling or grammatical errors in the following section are not me. Prior to this section I take full responsibility for the crummy grammar.

"It cannot be contacted with oil or organic impregnate like acetone and Toulon, aso." "It cannot be pressed when it was rolled." "Do not place heavy objects on in a long time." "It cannot be pulled into the oven and putted on the fire to teast." "It cannot pull out stretch to twist or pull it."

Good thing I haven't been hungry for keyboard teast lately (or I haven't wanted to teast the endurance of a keyboard on a fire?). I also have little urge to lube up my keyboard.
Now, what exactly can I do with this if I can't pull out stretch to twist it? Well, I can use it in the baby pool or the bathtub, as long as the water is "shallow" (I so need a computer in my bathroom now). And of course "it can be used in a dusty environment, even in sandstorms" (now where is my sandstorm-proof computer?).
The funniest thing I have read so far...

"Material: High quality silicon, the keyboard has no poisonous or bad smell." (I'm starting to question that smell I mentioned before. I'm sure it isn't poisonous or bad because they said it's not...)

Now all jokes aside (almost- I can't always help myself), this keyboard has some cool features. That water-proofness will come in handy if (when) a liquid is spilled on it, as long as it isn't oil (note to Jason that no baby oil should be used during his quality computer It can also be washed using water or alcohol so if (when) someone spills something on it it can be easily cleaned up.

...Are they SURE it doesn't have a smell?

I later learned that ALL computer keyboards can be washed in the dishwasher.  Just dry them completely before plugging back in to the computer.  This has come in SO handy!

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